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Eat Me, Drink Me 17: Useless and Disastrous


A loud whistling sound resounded through the gym currently occupied by Seirin basketball club, the sound of sports shoes scraping against the floor coming to a total halt and filling the large area with only the sound of heavy breathing. All of the basketball players immediately surrounded their female coach, her skipping in their direction making obvious what she was about to announce.

“Guys, Rakuzan is here~,” said Riko with a sing-song voice, doing an overdramatic movement with her body and arms to point to the main entrance of the gym, a group of students appearing there from the corridor that brought them from the locker rooms area. “So~ As I said this morning~ If you lose... you’re dead~”

“Y-Yes...” acknowledged the basketball team in unison, feeling yet another shudder run down their spines as they saw the movement that the brunette had done with her hand, her thumb slicing through her throat, as an even bigger warning than her words.

“We have done our warming up exercises, so it’s time to provide some space so that Rakuzan can do the—“ started directing Riko, but a sudden fluff of light blue appeared right in front of her eyes from out of nowhere, startling her. “Jesus Christ, Kuroko-kun! I was the whole break time away from you. Give some sort of warning when you get close until I get used to your misdirection once again...!”

“I apologize, Riko-san,” said Kuroko, giving a quick bow with his head to his coach while his eyes continuously stole glances to the group coming inside, his heart rhythm echoing in his head with the expectation of seeing a certain player – at the same time, he deeply dreaded what would happen when he first laid his eyes on him. “Um... Would you mind if I continued with my warming ups for a little bit longer while Rakuzan is doing theirs? I don’t mind doing it outside of the gym, to give them the necessary space.”

“Like hell you will! Overwork yourself before we even really started and we won’t be able to use one of our key players for victory when we really need him,” immediately rejected Riko, shaking her head furiously at the bluenette’s words. “Just sit on the bench and drink your energy drink, because we all know you are going to need loads of it for the whole week.”

I think so too, inwardly cringed Kuroko, his shoulders slumping down as he slowly paced to the bench and sat there, his eyes stuck to the floor so that he would have some guarantees that he would not see the person that he wanted to see the most while wanting to avoid him like the plague.

“Hello, Seirin,” greeted Akashi, the captain of Rakuzan High School’s basketball team, a soft smile on his features as he crossed the gym and approached the group of enemy players. “I hope that this joint practice will be the best of both worlds for our teams. I expect that none of us will cut corners throughout this week and let sleeping dogs lie in regard to the events of last year’s Winter Cup.”

“Hey, Riko...” whispered Hyuuga to the female coach, an eyebrow slightly arched as he closely observed Akashi. “Isn’t Akashi talking kind of funny right now?”

“Ah... He was talking like that too last night when he suddenly called me to arrange this week-long joint practice,” said Riko also in the form of a whisper. She quickly shrugged her shoulders, however, and added, “You know that all of the members of the Generation of Miracles are weird and make incomprehensible actions for us mere mortals. Kuroko-kun, included, apparently...”

Following Riko’s line of vision, Hyuuga looked over to the bench appointed to their team, where Kuroko was currently bent over, his face buried against the wooden surface normally used to sit down. “I-Is he feeling okay over there, Kagami?”

“Ah... Maybe...?” answered Kagami almost in the form of a question, since not even he was sure of Kuroko's current condition. He suspected that he was most likely starting to feel to effects of his curse – again, part of him felt really bad about his current circumstances, the other (maybe bigger than the former) was deeply enjoying how the usual expressionless prick was acting due to his crush on another individual.

“Hello, Kuroko,” greeted Akashi, all smiles as he stopped near the crouched down bluenette.

I do not have an erection right now. I do not have an erection right now. I do not have an erection right now, inwardly chanted Kuroko, feeling his face burst into flames as heat starting pooling down on the base of his abdomen, a giddy sensation spreading through his whole body every time he heard Akashi’s voice.

“H-Hello, Akashi-kun,” answered Kuroko, his voice slightly muffled by his position against the surface of the bench, his arms closing more tightly against his face to keep it well hidden from Akashi and, honestly, every single basketball player inside of the gym.

“Are you perhaps feeling under the weather once again, Kuroko?” asked Akashi, taking a couple of steps closer to Kuroko and lowering his body so that he could more closely observe him trying to hide through the means of the bench. “That’s not a once in a blue moon event but it has been happening all the time lately. Do you need a hand once again?”

“I-I don’— Ngh...!” readily started denying Kuroko, his face whipping out of its hidden place, but as soon as he saw Akashi’s face extremely close to his own, he was forced to painfully bite into his lower lip to avoid an aroused groan from escaping his throat. “P-Please leave me b-be for now, A-Akashi-kun...”

“...” Akashi observed how Kuroko quickly returned to his little hideout against the bench, his body trembling just the slightest, and released a soft sigh, propelling his body up once again afterwards. “I’ll keep myself at bay, then.”

Turning around on his heels, Akashi started walking back to his own team, passing by Kuroko’s current light and partner in basketball, Kagami, who had been observing them from the distance. He was forced to stop, however, when Kagami also started walking towards him.

“I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but what exactly are you planning, Akashi?” asked Kagami, his arms crossing over his chest as he looked at Akashi with an eyebrow arched in suspicion. He took a quick glance around their surroundings, seeing if there was anyone in earshot, and then whispered, covering his mouth slightly with his hand, “Why haven’t you broken your curse already?”

And Kuroko’s, would have liked to add Kagami, but since he still wasn’t sure if Akashi knew of Kuroko’s feelings for him or not, he decided to stay quiet on it, fearing that he would make Kuroko’s life even more miserable right now.

“A penny for my thoughts, huh...” said Akashi, chuckling softly at the worried expression on Kagami’s face. He knew that the concern was aimed towards Kuroko, not him, but it still made him happy that, despite the way they had first met, Kagami still could house such gentle emotions towards him. “I don’t want to continuously go back to the drawing board but to simply cut the mustard, so I can’t put all of my eggs in one basket. It takes two to tango and Kuroko isn’t able to see eye to eye right now. But you are barking up the wrong tree if you think I will beat around the bush.”

“I... I’m going to pretend I understood everything you just said...” mumbled Kagami, straightening his body with awkward movements as he softly scratched the back of his neck, a complex demeanour on his features as he tried to make any sense of Akashi’s words.

“Basically, Sei-chan said that you don’t have to worry about anything~” explained Mibuchi Reo, a soft smile on his face as he stopped beside the captain of his basketball team. “He will definitely make sure that Cupid’s arrow hits the right person <3 Right, Sei-chan?”

“Yes,” acknowledged Akashi, also smiling back to his teammate. He looked back to Kagami, offered a quick bow and turned around on his heels to finally go provide his own team with the directions of what they were supposed to do right now, together with Rakuzan’s coach.

“You know about the... curse?” asked Kagami, directing his words now to Mibuchi, who had remained in the same spot after Akashi returned to his team.

“Yes, Sei-chan told me about it. He needs help to communicate with most of our teammates, or otherwise, they would look at him as dumbstruck as you did just now,” explained Mibuchi, a kind smile on his lips. He sighed and then turned his body around, his arms dancing around his torso as he almost cat-walked to his team. “I don’t know what is Kuroko-chan’s curse, but this should be an interesting week, the way he’s acting right now~”

“...I still don’t get if he’s a nice guy or a fucking evil diva...” sighed Kagami, also turning around and going back to his teammates too, his head slightly tilted to the left as he still tried to make sense of Akashi’s words in his... well, not so bright brain.

-.-

“Have you all being relaxing and doing nothing at all after having won the Winter Cup?” sarcastically asked Shirogane Eiji, a mocking smirk on his face as he took a quick peek to the scoring board of the first practice game between Seirin and Rakuzan – they were on the second quarter of the first half and Rakuzan was already winning by doubling Seirin’s score. “Or was it really only a fluke that you won that game?”

“...” Riko painfully bit down the inside of her cheek, her hands clenching into fists as she continued to observe the terrible game happening right in front of her eyes. All of Seirin main players were doing their jobs properly – Hyuuga scored quick three-pointers, Izuki used his eagle eye to connect the passes and organize the moves of the team, Mitobe was doing a great job holding the inside and grabbing the rebounds, Kagami was jumping high and scoring breath-taking dunks, one after the other – but Kuroko was completely useless.

He had missed more than half of the passes he had given to his teammates, got the ball stolen pretty much the remaining half, and every time he tried to use his Phantom Shot, Riko’s heart squeezed terribly at the fact that the ball didn’t even touch the rim of the basket – it simply didn’t get even 5 meters near it... Kuroko was currently more of a dead weight than the phantom ace of Seirin and former sixth man of Teikou.

But if she made a substitution right now, with Kiyoshi away in America for his rehabilitation on his knee, she had no idea how the team would be able to deal with Rakuzan and Akashi’s Emperor Eye. It seemed that, even though Kuroko was useless right now, Akashi still couldn’t follow his movements and useless passes, giving Seirin the opportunity of maybe turning the game around in their favour.

Risky way of thinking, without a doubt, but it was the only way she could see Seirin winning this first match.

Roaring loudly, Kagami grabbed the basketball with one of his hands and forcibly slammed it inside of the rim, his frustration starting to show on his gameplay. Panting heavily as his feet touched the floor once again, he turned around and angrily looked over in Kurokoe’s direction, who was panting even harder than he was, his features gone completely red as he remained half crouched down while standing up, eyes closed to keep his concentration.

Kagami was already aware that Kuroko’s basketball style would get slightly affected by his curse, especially since they were playing against the person who brought out the effects of the curse, but he wasn’t expecting this disaster. One of his hands was getting black and blue with bruises due to the immeasurable strength put behind his passes (when they actually connected) and he had lost count of how many times he had to hurriedly cover up the wrong trajectory of a pass by moving back and forward.

Playing with Kuroko right now was simply exhausting, and he would have told him that if he didn’t know that Kuroko, out of everyone there in the court, knew it even better. It showed on the soft crease of his brows that he was getting just as frustrated as Kagami about the flow of the game, with the large sense of guilt that it was his fault that it was unfolding like that eating at him.

Forget about having fun with the unusual amount of facial expressions that I get to see, I want Kuroko to break his curse right this moment or I feel I will fucking punch him until he does!, inwardly yelled Kagami, loudly clicking his tongue as he quickly wiped the sweat running down his face.

“Haa... Haa...” Panting wildly, Kuroko took a couple of shaky steps forward and took a glance around the whole court, eyes seeking his teammates in order to position himself in a key area and finally manage to make a successful pass to any of them.

The opportunity soon came when Izuki (clearly hesitantly) made a pass towards him. He pulled his elbow back, his hand taking on the stance to use Ignite Pass and make the ball reach the other side of the court, where Kagami was already positioned on. However, a flash of red appeared out of nowhere in front of him, his teal eyes making direct contact with Akashi’s red ones as he tried to prevent the pass from being accomplished.

The only words that could describe what Kuroko felt at that moment was a Shinkansen made of sexual arousal hitting his groin and his brain fully shutting down its main primal functions except the need to procreate.

“BUGYAHH...!!” loudly yelped Kagami when a ball was suddenly slammed against his face, his body heavily falling to the ground and making a wave of deep silence hit the whole gym at the cry of pain that escaped his throat. Slowly motioning his upper body to a sitting position on the floor, Kagami’s eyes were that of a wrathful demon, two red lines of blood flowing down from his nostrils. “Fuck you, Kuroko, you bastard! Get your ass back here so I can slam a basketball on your mug to— Eh...?”

When Kagami looked over in the direction where the ball had come from, he only found Akashi there, his head slightly tilted as he peered over on his direction with a concerned look that masked the amusement that he truly felt. No signs whatsoever of Kuroko Tetsuya.

The loud sound of a whistle echoed through the whole gym and the female coach of Seirin basketball club got up from the bench, together with Koganei, ready to step inside of the already lost game.

“Seirin, change! Number 11 for number 6!”

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